love is our resistance

up, up, here we go

2011-01-28T16:37:00.002+08:00

here we go, come with me

there's a world out there that we should see

take my hand, close your eyes

with you right here, i'm a rocketeer

let's fly......

2011-01-07T15:14:00.001+08:00

tribute to australia

2011-01-06T12:33:00.001+08:00

yes, i still miss you.

it's sad to see you become like that. but i hope you're okay.

...the town with the most character so far.

resolutions for 2011. learn from past mistakes. be inspired.

2011-01-06T12:08:00.009+08:00

sailboats

2010-09-14T00:14:00.002+08:00

TODAY IS THE BEST DAY OF 2010.

(well, at least until now.)

everything was just right today. this week it's just leave and off again, won't need to go back to camp until OCTOBER 23RD. HOW'S THAT BITCHESSSSSSS.

truthfuloly speaking i cannot remember what time i got out of bed but immediately had a wonderful sushi lunch at esplanade, followed by a totally impromptu screening of HAUNTED CHANGI for the 2nd time. LOL. the weather today was PERFECT for shopping, so guess what i did? hell yeah, i went shopping.

didn't really buy anything, but tried on all the expensive clothing just for fun. went to look at more shoes (even though i got a new pair just two days ago). somehow shoes are like the 'in' thing now. and jackets of course.

oh and while walking through orchard today i found a COACH coin purse on the floor. it wasn't no coin purse, for it contained $77 in notes. donated $10, gonna use some for BUTTER FACTORY LADIES NIGHT tomorrow!! :D wootwootwoot

and the best thing...DANCE CLASS. darren and i NAILED ALL THE MOVES and we were so damn happy. finally after 10 lessons we got the feel of it. more to come!

class on saturday afternoon was just great. went alone and they taught RnB. so smooooth but a little girly. still i enjoyed it. cute taiwanese-looking girl totally trashed me on her first lesson there but she said she couldn't get why it was called beginner class since the moves were tough. turns out she had dance background after all. LOL.

GONNA HAVE GREAT SLEEP TONIGHT. it's party week and there's no time to waste. goodnight!

no, i'm not saying i'm sorry.

2010-08-20T23:10:00.001+08:00

it was a thousand to one and a million to two

time to go down in flames and i'm taking you

closer to the edge.

2010-08-19T23:50:00.001+08:00

no more running around in circles, finding a way to end it in a checkmate.

i'll keep it to a stalemate this time.....

bell and ross still makes me tick until today :D

2010-08-14T22:32:00.000+08:00

i could die for the carbon version. omggggggggg

take the challenge...

2010-08-14T13:51:00.001+08:00

2010-08-14T13:09:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not - won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and not lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for."

i'm already gone.

2010-08-13T20:56:00.001+08:00

gone will be the days where i feel like this...

impossible

2010-08-13T19:54:00.003+08:00

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did
And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the rooftops
Write it on the skyline
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know
And now when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the rooftops
Write it on the skyline
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the rooftops
Write it on the skyline
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did.

and the war concludes.

2010-08-01T17:21:00.000+08:00

liar.

2010-07-31T22:03:00.002+08:00

Just gonna stand there,
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie.

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight

High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it

Wait,
Where you going?
I'm leaving you.
No you ain't,
Come back,
We're running right back.
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad, it's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap

Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on him
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strengths

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em

You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em

It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today,
That was yesterday.
Yesterday is over,
It's a different day.
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again

Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things,
Did things,
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded

Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though

Come inside,
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk,
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault,
Look me in the eyeball,
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall.

Next time?
There will be no next time.
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar

If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts

Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie.

until the end

2010-07-31T00:49:00.000+08:00

and if i should falter ;

don't change the way you think of me.

move something!

2010-07-26T22:47:00.002+08:00

okay it looks like i don't have to attend the full dance course to learn something, just the open classes will do. it's not easy and the learning curve is still super steep. however, i can feel the gap beginning to close and steps are slightly easier to catch.

i find the footwork of LA hip hop extremely complex at this point in time. looks simple, but when it comes to actual coordination it's hard. apparently, i haven't been exercising for a long time, which explains why after the warm up i'm the only person with sweat droplets on the floor while others' stay dry.

a simple 1-hour open class for me now goes like this: warm up, i sweat like hell, the first batch of steps are quite easy to understand, and just when i almost got it, the next batch of steps are thrown to me. so for every new batch of moves, my focus gets more and more strained until i can't catch the last batch of moves at all. so when it comes to group practice i feel super lost, trying to copy the moves of the guy/girl in front of me. by the end of the lesson i'd have got the moves, but no time to practice. it reminds me of one day's worth of JC orientation mass dance moves shoved into a duration of half an hour, then times two.

at some point in time i reach this stage where i'm super shacked and my mind blanks out so i kinda lose my focus and forget the next move transition. anyone have any suggestions on how to fix this?

i missed about 60% of the moves during first lesson, and 30% during second. slow progress but at least i know i'll reach nirvana eventually. hahaha!

how low can you go

2010-07-24T19:45:00.002+08:00

finally attended the first LA hip hop class today. turns out better than i expected. i couldn't believe i predicted the song correctly. before heading to class this song was stuck in my head and it gave me so much motivation listening to it on my ipod that i went to sms the lyrics to joyce. LOL!

what a great start. i couldn't really get the moves but i got the idea and the style of the dance. and i FUCKING LOVE IT. i'm gonna sign up for the course soon.

still gotta get daphne to teach me the rest of the dance moves for ROCK YOUR BODY. so complex, but i easily forget the moves. i'd like it if the lesson was slowed down a bit and more time was given to practice the transition from one move to another.

however, I HAVE FINALLY FOUND ANOTHER HOBBY! :D

on a random note, i present to you--
the hardest chocolate to eat in the world.
:)

nose bleedingly-hot clubbing cousins :D

2010-07-16T23:54:00.001+08:00

sing sing sing!

2010-07-14T12:18:00.000+08:00

i wish someone would take me to singfest 2010. :(

way back into love

2010-07-13T21:14:00.004+08:00

and if you help me to start again, you know that i'll be there for you in the end.

a simple line can mean so much :)

omg damn chio.

2010-07-12T13:15:00.000+08:00

you are....

2010-07-10T14:03:00.001+08:00

2010-07-08T19:56:00.002+08:00

staying at home during mc sucks. i have problems showering, i run out of websites to visit, and television programmes are boring throughout the whole afternoon. there's no one home, and everyone's at work.

if that's not bad enough, i now have a flu :(

i miss the far east chicken rice!

i hate bike accidents.

2010-07-07T22:41:00.003+08:00

you idiot....your dad put a 80km/h limiter on your NSR for a reason.

sheeeeeeshh.

i don't even know what i should be feeling right now.

2010-06-29T21:04:00.002+08:00

the berlin wall

2010-06-23T19:43:00.002+08:00

i have built this big wall between you and me. and i'm intent on keeping it there.

sometimes, i falter. sometimes, i think about our good times together.

such a waste. sigh....

i'm not going to go on lamenting anymore. i'm past that stage.

life without you is tough, but i'll live. i just needed someone who'd appreciate me more.

truth be told, what i did for you was the most i've ever done for a girl.

for me now, i know that the scars left behind will have to heal. i will continue to live my life, in search for the one who can really matter to me. you hurt me terribly, that's no doubt.

i'm not going to put in any more effort into any links between us anymore. if you think that i actually mean something to you, and you genuinely want to be part of my life, this wall in front of you is for you to break down. i will remove no brick, i won't even push the wall one bit. if you can somehow do it, it probably will get my thoughts working again.

you've got a month. then you can forget about my existence, and i'll forget about yours.

i'll wait for class 2.

2010-06-11T13:10:00.003+08:00

i should have known.

tuas west road.

entered slip road at 50kmh. and road was a little oily.

Fuck. next time i'm taking this corner at 15kmh.

insanity streak

2010-06-04T23:38:00.002+08:00

this weekend is gonna be the most hectic, tiring weekend ever.

saturday night: book in
sunday 0300h: move out for escort
sunday 0600h: escort ends
sunday 1300h: report for COG ceremony
sunday 1500h: move out for COG @ istana (if you're free do come support!)
sunday 1900h: report back to camp
sunday 2100h: move out for 2nd escort
sunday 2300h: escort ends, RTU.

oh, oh, oh-oh, oh, oh, OH MY GAWD.

lol

the unspoken

2010-05-28T22:09:00.004+08:00

getting your heart broken over and over again is a very tiring event. sometimes you begin to wonder, if hell actually is right now.

after all, you used to matter to me more than even my own life...

better in time

2010-05-28T09:47:00.001+08:00

since there's no more you and me

it's time i let you go so i can be free

and live my life the way it should be

no matter how hard it is, i'll be fine without you.

yes i will.

bright white lights

2010-05-26T21:00:00.001+08:00

just like potassium cyanide.....

it will end,

quickly....

painlessly....

tell me when it's time to say i love you

2010-05-13T22:08:00.004+08:00

the one and only song that really explains what i'm feeling now...word for word.

i promise i'll sing it to you one day, dear.

Words get trapped in my mind,
Sorry I don't take the time to feel the way I do.
'Cause the first day you came into my life,
My time ticks around you.

But then I need your voice
And the key to unlock all the love trapped in me

So tell me when it's time to say I love you.

All I want is you to understand,
That when I take your hand, it's 'cause I want to.
We are all born in a world of doubt
But there's no doubt,
I figured out...
I love you.

I've been longing for
All the losers that were meant to take the time to say,
What was really on their mind, instead
They just hide away.

Yet they'll never have
Someone like you to back them and help them on the way

Or tell them when it's time to say I love you.
So tell me when it's time to say I love you.

hiatus

2010-05-13T16:19:00.002+08:00

i've already tried all i could. nothing seems to be working. i can't get the message across to you, i think it's because i can't phrase my words right. and what's happening now is hurting me.

from day 1, i never saw this coming. we had so much fun. we click so well. we can even read each others' minds. i really loved those days we spent nights together and morning never came. the way our kisses led to thunderstorms but we continued anyway ; the way our embrace could make both of us fall asleep together.

i'm sorry it had to turn out this way, but i am left with no other choice. i know that at the end of the day, it's better for both of us. this is one period where the worst gut feelings can take place, the most terrible feeling inside that makes life so hard to live. but it's okay, that will be for me to handle.

i am only doing this because i love you.

promises

2010-04-30T14:16:00.000+08:00

i hope you don't let me down like that again.

tick tock

2010-04-29T22:04:00.002+08:00

two more hours and you'll be back.

i pray that you'll be back safe, just like how i did when you left.

i want to stay up late and wait for your call, but things today have been really tiring.

nonetheless i will still pick up your call tonight, even if i'm asleep.

that's cos i wanna hear your voice.

can't wait to see you tomorrow.

<3

where?

2010-04-26T06:58:00.003+08:00

where'd you go?
i miss you so.
seems like it's been forever
since you've been gone.

3 more days.

i guess things wouldn't be this hard if i had not seen your plane take off from the side of the runway.

therapy

2010-04-25T07:01:00.002+08:00

at exactly 5am this morning...

you called.

i didn't see it coming. but somehow i woke up at around 4.55am for no reason. five later, i thought i was dreaming when i heard your calling ringtone.

the only exception.

told you what i really felt and what i had to say.

not convinced that you'd believe me.

it's okay, i'll try harder.

sleepless in singapore

2010-04-24T20:29:00.002+08:00

this is so much harder than i thought. it's only day 2, yet i feel my mind is about to implode.

people like to say, you never really cherish something until it's not with you.

never know you could mean so much to me in such a short time. yet i'm at a loss for words when it comes to telling you. feelings were never made to be simply expressed.

i know you're out there enjoying yourself, you wouldn't think of me. i don't blame you, if i were having fun i guess i'd subconsciously do the same.

only thing now is, nothing can really take my mind off. i watch live concerts, movies. somehow a song or a scene or line spoken in every show would remind me of you. then i'd think of the times we had.

sometimes, reminiscing is not very desirable. i might have bypassed that stage already, where my thoughts would comfort me.

when you come back next week, things will be a little different. i'll make sure that what you and i missed out on are gonna be paid back in full. i adore you too much to compromise even a little bit.

seems like my ipod is working against me for now...whatever song i play creates this image of you in my head no matter what. club songs about the wonderful times we had ripping up the dancefloor, alternative to contribute to those lonely hours, as well as the dreams we had lived in reality for the past 2 months.

seems now that sleep is the only healer, and i've been getting way too much. i really want to stop thinking about you but i can't. you really make my day.

i shouldn't be doing this whole countdown thing, time drags to a complete crawl that way. i'm gonna do something a lot more productive, maybe i'll write you a song. maybe i'll fix a letter. or maybe i'll print our photos.

life ain't that easy, and talking to my sisters and friends keeps me sane. i like it to stay that way.

just five more days. five. and i swear, i can't wait to see your smile. i guess it's just the way it melts my heart.

missing you

2010-04-23T19:29:00.002+08:00

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor

Reachin for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all...

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now

I just need you now

Oh, baby, I need you now.

keep it real

2009-11-20T23:11:00.003+08:00

another two weeks of great experiences!

-two photoshoots over the past two weeks! the learning curve is not as bad as i thought. by the second one i was starting to get the hang of it. the results are fabulous for a first timer like me but there's still plenty more to learn :) the first one was quite horrible because of the heavy rain (the model and i got completely drenched) and i had to end up shooting in pitch darkness which led to quite a lot of blurry shots. after the shoot was the best time though, we somehow managed to find a starbucks outlet in the middle of shenton way and the hot white chocolate mocha did great justice to the two shivering bodies.

-cornering with a class 2 bike is damn fun. somehow i find a class 2 bike safer than a 2B one. i tried the CG125 back at driving school, it is one piece of crap that i will never even dream of owning. the brake pedal slips damn easily and the seating position is damn rubbish. compared to the VFR, i don't even feel comfortable cornering at 40kmh. the VFR feels more like a car in this aspect.

-christmas is coming once again and i have decided to be more PROACTIVE this year. every year it's just ATTENDING gatherings, dinners or parties. this year i will be hosting one, complete with my room done up in christmas deco, good music and CHRISTMAS DRINKS that i brew myself. no whiskey or hard liquor though, i'm in the process of making a drink that WARMS THE HEART AND SOUL of friends and family. it will basically consist of HOT CHOCOLATE, with a hint of CARAMEL BAILEYS, a dash of NUTELLA and topped with MARSHMALLOWS (subject to changes according to feedback). prototypes are looking promising, with the baileys providing a nice coffee-like aftertaste minus the bitterness and caffeine. i'm trying to incorporate some kind of hazelnut into the drink somewhere, but maybe later (inspired by starbucks' christmas toffee nut blend).

-i'll buy a chirstmas tree this year for my room, but most probably a fake one (i can't bear to see those coniferous plants die a slow and terrible death in the humid tropics of an equatorial country). i've still got my christmas lights, which will go on my bike and my tree.

-sean, shannon and i are contemplating setting up a christmas photo stand for some part of singapore where the decorations are nice enough, then we'll take photos for people and email it to them for free. it's all about CHRISTMAS KARMA! i've been doing too many bad things this year and unless i want santa to put landmines under my tree, i'd better be a good man.

-christmas mass is not on this year, it is SIAO ON!!

-leaving for shenzhen on the last week of 2009. anyone want fake stuff please let me know. i have these few things in mind already:
-fake bell & ross watches
-16/32GB compactflash card (so i can shoot in RAW + L JPEG)
-clothes clothes clothes
-shoes shoes shoes
-china made cellphones for gifts (LOL)
-full body massage everyday
-hot bubble milk tea

-three more photoshoots to go for 2009. i don't mind having more. the more the merrier.

-i haven't touched my bike for AGES. like months. i can't remember the last time i used it, i think it was back during unit cohesion. it is now covered in dust, the tires are more or less flat and i bet the chain needs some serious lubrication. i will bring it out tomorrow anyway, it needs to be conditioned once in a while. i do not like the idea of equipment failure at all.

-went to TWG with daren and elly earlier tonight. first time there, i tell you the names of the teas are very tempting but somehow the aroma doesn't quite match the name i think. but you can never be satisfied when you go there because of the number of types of teas they have. it's like, serial numbers with 4 digits. it's quite impossible to try everything at one go. i decided on this tea called 'sweet france' today and it had this interesting guava smell. the tea wasn't too bad, the ambience was really good (i heard northern lights playing on the hi-fi a few times) and the company was just right. it gave me a new place to consider if i had to discuss about important stuff. i'm not sure about the pricing, but daren said it was around 12 bucks per person. before i went there i thought it was like $12 per cup but i realised it was $12 per pot of tea, which came to about 5 to 6 actual cups. that's not too bad, it lasts long enough to hold a decent conversation with a good friend, a business partner (which is especially important) or someone you love :)

-i've created some sort of 'power breakfast' in camp. i'm always not eating breakfast when i stay in because the cookhouse is too damn far away and i hate waking up at 6am just to eat (i'd rather wake at 7.30 :P). it simply consists of two sachets of ovaltine, mixed ice cold with rice crispies and then i dump this huge mountain of froot loops into the resultant mixture. it can keep me going till lunchtime. also, it only takes less than 5min to make which makes it useful when i have to move out quickly.

-ah, time to get my good sleep on my nice bed and take my two wheels out first thing in the morning :)

illusionist

2009-11-07T00:27:00.002+08:00

recent activity.

-i wanted a nokia n95 8gb. then i didn't want it. now i want it again.

-i think my photos look better coming from a 400D than a 5D.

-THREE upcoming model photoshoots! i can't wait to boost my portfolio.

-i know JUST the place to store my portfolio photos. it's in this tiny canon 5D mk2-shaped thumb drive my dad got for me. 2GB is all i need for all the glory :) finally, a birthday present put to perfect use.

-my left eyelid has been twitching non-stop for the past few days. daren says it's a bad omen. if it's taking days, then it's probably apocalypse.

-went out to watch jennifer's body with sean today. i've never seen magan fox in such a disgusting state. but there was plenty of making out scenes, including a lesbian one. LOL

-i've found my comfort in many things: FOOD, PHOTOGRAPHY, CLUBBING and ION ORCHARD. every friday is good food friday (GFF). be it serangoon gardens or anywhere else, i deserve good food for the whole week of shit work. photography, simply put, is LIFE. clubbing not so much now, maybe once a month the most. it's only used as a last resort to destress, which means that if i hit the dancefloor i had a dreadful week. ion orchard is the place to be--i don't know why but it takes away my thoughts.

-i recently had many nightmares while sleeping in camp. they made no sense (as most of my dreams do).

1. Apocalypse. it was watching the world being overcome by a huge wave. the only things i remember seeing were cars exploding while the waves hit, which is not scientifically possible.

2. Empty Streets. walking along the streets of town in singapore when there was no one around. it was early evening, say 5pm and the stores were all closed. not a single soul. it felt like the will smith zombie show (forgot what it's called). then i walked past a club entrance and heard loud bass + music. it was a happy moment for a few seconds because suddenly there was life, but upon walking in i realised the music was playing but not a single soul was around. this left me with an empty, hollow feeling that plagues me until today. you won;t understand what i'm going through.

3. the Swimming Pool. i don't know why but at one point in time i love the SAF pineapple tarts (those cube-shaped ones). i took a lot of them to eat in bunk or bring home. the next thing i knew i had some kind of swimming lesson and when i wanted to eat the tarts the instructor told me they were being used as training equipment (WTF?) like those colourful plastic rings that you throw into the pool and dive down to retrieve. instead, to my horror when i dived down i saw that the entire swimming pool floor was covered in pineapple cube tarts. funny, but meaningless.

-i think i might be putting my class 2B on hold to apply for a class 3. but i don't do things halfway so i'll still complete my 2b just for the sake of getting a license (and perhaps the job opportnity of being a pizza delivery boy if the economy becomes REAL bad. HAHAHAHA)

-my headphone amp is making weird crackly noises whenever i adjust the volume. :(

-just bought an electro-house/hard house album by david guetta two weeks back. one of the best dance albums i've ever gotten. (SEXY BITCH)

-currently listening to:
1. david guetta
2. black eyed peas
3. corinne may
4. tenacious d
5. r&b + hiphop forever
6. jason mraz
7. david foster & various artists
8. augustana
9. lady gaga
10. pearl jam

-pulled over a damn courteous warrant officer on lim chu kang road two days back. if only all bookings were as smooth as this.

-need some new shoes, new speaker sytem, birkenstocks, guitar strings, contact lens solution and bedsheets.

-gonna try out making cadbury hot chocolate with a shot of baileys this weekend.

-can't wait for pay day in 4 days.

-i'm going back to church. i'm gonna look for the inner peace that i lost before.

-AND i'm going on holiday soon. all my leave days are in december. :)

-

did you have to?

2009-10-03T14:55:00.000+08:00

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything

I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why you were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, I was wrong

If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

And I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger?

horror movies

2009-09-05T00:09:00.002+08:00

so it's seventh month again. every year, strange things happen.

but i don't really care. i don't think i have offended any soul. i hope i'm right.

last night my bunk mates complained of a shadow flying past the 5th-storey bunk. the first guy who saw it woke the rest and the whole lot couldn't sleep after that. hahaha. if i was being waken i'd probably murder the first guy who disrupted my blissful ignorance.

....that is, unless i open my eyes to see two figures in number 1 ceremonial dress saluting beside my bed. i'd go nuts then.

just a thought: how do you describe the feeling of you really wanting to love and care for someone, but due to certain circumstances you just cannot let the person know this feeling?

what i know is that the feeling sucks.

i just realised that my dreamcatchers really do work but they leave me with a sense of emptiness. how do you feel when you had a really, really sweet dream that was so real you could feel it happening, but yet it's still a dream? and worse, after waking up, it's more of an afterthought slipped into the back of your mind somewhere, never to be resurrected again. you just crave for the same feeling, more so in reality, but it actually is just a little preview of a big movie which will never be screened.

that's how i feel about you.

that's how i feel about US.

if you have a minute why don't we go

2009-08-18T12:16:00.000+08:00

-yesterday i slept for the longest period of time ever: 13.5 hours straight. i knocked off at 5pm, only to wake up at 6.30 am the next morning. i was still in my outing clothes, and i'd forgotten to charge my phone and the ipod completely. they were both dying the next day. the feeling kinda sucks knowing that i'm wide awake at 6.30am in the morning and i don't have any recollection of what happened the previous night because i was plain tired, and neither do i have any plans of any sort for the day because i'm still trying to get some sense of direction after going into a half-day slumber. i hate that feeling, it shall not happen again.

-i don't know why but recently i have the tendency to always trip when i'm climbing staircases. strangely enough it only happens on the going-up part, not the coming down one or i'd be wheelchair-bound by now. it's weird how my eye always misses one of the last few steps by either under or over-estimating the height of the step itself and my foot ends up in between. embarrassing yes, but why it happens i don't know.

-my whole life seems so surreal these few days. it's like my head's floating wherever i'm going, everything around me seems so fake and so virtual. it's not bad enough to give me a headache, but enough to spoil my mood nonetheless. i don't know if it's just me or people around are getting lesser. somehow i see much fewer people in the streets these days. is apocalypse coming?

-i think i need a huge shopping spree to get rid of all this (i know it sounds so bimbotic but who cares), unfortunately i don't have a very high pay.

-contact lenses make me feel sleepy and inactive. haha.

-there's always nobody at home and the food stocks are running out. i want cloudy apple juice.

-i have yet to purchase the UP movie poster for my room. i hope it makes things easier on the eye. ignorance is bliss. i wish i could have a floating house too

sigh.

2009-08-17T20:30:00.001+08:00

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield

One word turns into a war
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands, tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like

Can't swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose
What we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your

We could pretend that we are friends tonight
(Oh, oh, oh)
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
'Cause baby, we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
(Fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor

Why does love always feel like?
Why does love always feel like?
A battlefield, a battlefield

I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for.

there's something wrong with my mind.

2009-08-16T11:12:00.000+08:00

another bunch of boring updates. this is becoming pretty routine.

-just ran (or rather walked) 10km of public road at army half marathon. before that, i spent the whole night at rebel/zirca/clarke quay and got home at 3.30am, slept at 4am and got up at 5am. with one hour of sleep and a half-hangover, the 10km was a painful process. it was long and draggy, totally boring. and i still managed to get home at 9.45am.

-last night was the only night i felt super high without drinking much alcohol (most of it went down the toilet, stupid beer) and shannon got opened by this crazy girl whose arms were all over the place. it was hilarious. her friend was this rather inactive babe with BMT-esque spectacles. she was probably on cocaine or something.

-watched ORPHAN on thursday. first of all, i have to say that this is by far the most disturbing movie i have ever watched. scary no, but disturbing yes. it screws up the mind, but it's a feeling you don't get with other movies. if you're looking for this unique but not necessarily positive feeling, then go watch it. the plot is good, the scenes are super dramatic and throughout the show you'll be asking these questions constantly:

1. "what the fuck??!!"
2. "omg how is that possible?"
3. "OMFG :O"

-i want to play gigs again. this time, i'm looking for a girl singer. we'd do plenty of covers, but not much metal, if any at all. i'm still not yet convinced that girls can pull off metal songs nicely. fyi, evanescence is NOT metal.

somebody call 9-1-1

2009-08-10T13:56:00.000+08:00

what's kickin'

-the week where almost everyday is an off day. only gotta be back in camp on thursday! hahaha
-attended NDP 2009 AS DUTY PERSONNEL. this way i got to watch the parade for free, except that i had to stand during the whole event. this year's show was nicely put together and super colourful. no colour from the spectrum was left out.
-post-parade dinner reception was a buffet by marnina mandarin hotel. it was a full spread, but only it was FREE =D
-there are many interesting places to visit during training orientation. with a comfy bike, exploring the other side of singapore is much easier
-the songs 'fire burning' by sean kingston and 'tribute' by tenacious D are sure winners.

what's NOT kickin'

-i still can't believe we had to BOOK IN THE NIGHT BEFORE WITH THREE HOURS OF SLEEP SO THAT WE COULD WAKE UP AND FALL IN AT 1AM SO THE PERSON IN CHARGE COULD TELL US TO GO BACK TO THE BUNK AND FALL IN AGAIN AT 9AM T.T
-the worst equipment failure occurred yesterday. my chain broke, my front tire exploded and i had to drag the stupid bike a kilometre to get to the nearest bike shop. repairs costed me $70 and THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
-stupid army half marathon is this sunday. I HATE RUNNING. i used to love running but the army made me hate it by conducting runs every monday, wednesday and friday and many of these runs were double-digit distances. screw it, this sunday i'll just STROLL the whole 10 kilometres.
-there's absolutely nothing much to do on my off days this week. i don't even want to spend my allowance like last month when i became broke and my sisters still owe me $180.
-i still have yet to watch 'UP'. that will be TOMORROW.
-my ass hurts like hell. i want a motorbike.

retarded off-days

2009-08-03T11:06:00.000+08:00

i think that giving off days on weekdays is super redundant. especially on mondays and tuesdays where it's the start of the week, there's plain nothing to do. everyone's back in camp the day before.

i hate staying at home.

21 guns

2009-07-12T10:51:00.001+08:00

VFR800 police bike

2009-06-11T20:18:00.001+08:00

omg this video just pressurises me.

ice cold baby

2009-06-11T19:39:00.002+08:00

a beautiful mess

2009-06-07T13:21:00.001+08:00

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
and Based on your body language,
and shotty cursive I've been reading
You're style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you are biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words, I'm paraphrasing, this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
kind and courteous is the life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here we are, here we are
Here we are
We're still here
what a beautiful mess this is
it's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes.

and through timeless words and priceless pictures
we'll fly like birds not of this earth
and tides they turn and hearts disfigure
but that's no concern when we're wounded together
and we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
but it's nice today
Oh, the wait was so worth it.

the calling

2009-05-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

enforcement just got easier.

=D

eons

2009-05-03T03:27:00.002+08:00

AHHH it's been a long time since i did some proper blogging. i usually don't have this much time on weekends but this one is a long weekend so i might as well try to keep this site alive. haha.

outfield training recently was basically a dream. it felt like it didn't happen. the only indicators reminding me that i actually went for outfield training are the heat rash (screw freaking heat rash) and the 37 mosquito bites on my left hand. it is a horrible sight and that's not an exaggeration. even the medical officer couldn't believe what he saw. think of left 4 dead zombies, and you're probably close. nonetheless, outfield was a 36 hour non stop mission, in which i had to carry the 15kg machine gun WITH my SAR21 and run through wet mud to escape from "enemies" that overran the MG bunker, as well as defending checkpoints from commanders who drove by in land rovers and pitched thunderflashes at us. without a doubt, i reached the "too-shacked-cannot-think" point. but at least i'm free from outfield from now on. relief!

after a one month break, it was back to nightlife again. this time, i decided to try powerhouse at st. james. it was one of the worst clubbing experiences i'd ever had. i went with shannon to queue up at 10.30pm because there was free entry before 11, but the queue lasted till 11pm exact. the bouncer didn't even want to give the free entry to us so we just paid anyway. by then we had swallowed quite a bit of chivas already so we didn't even bother to collect any drinks. we headed straight for the dancefloor and that was where everything started going downhill. number 1-the people there were above our age group, i'd say average in the 25 year-old region. number 2-the music was freaking dated. 90's hiphop or RnB was no longer cracking, so it was simply shit. number 3-the dancefloor was so bloody pitiful, it became a scene of sardine clubbing. there was simply no space to move around. on top of that, every 5 seconds, a group of people had to push their way through no matter where we stood. with my dance constantly being interrupted and my patience tested more than 50 times, i decided that we should just leave. so here i am, back home early, flaming the place that cost me 20 dollars for a negative externality. whatever it is, i'm not going back there ever, free entry or not. i shall stick to rebel because it is the best place on earth. haha.

sometimes, being experimental does not pay off. i'll keep that it mind when it comes to things like these. perhaps i should have stayed home to learn a few more songs. i have abandoned my guitar for too long. or i could have saved the money and put it into my fund for a new headphone amp. lol!

goodnight.

thinking of you

2009-04-11T22:30:00.001+08:00

september flights

2009-03-22T19:12:00.002+08:00

"When will you be home?"
She asks as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as I crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds

And yet she says to me
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
Silver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

one-way ticket to dreamland

2009-03-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

Every night I pray
I'll have you here someday
I'll count the stars tonight
And hope with all my might
And when I close my eyes
You'll be right by my side

If I could only have one wish
You'd be the girl whose lips I'd kiss
All my only dreams

And when I close my eyes
You'll be right by my side

If I could have just one request
Stay with me girl I confess
All my only dreams

Any waking hour it seems
I only have you in my dreams
So every night I'll pray
I'll have you here one day

I'll count the stars tonight
And hope with all my might
That when I close my eyes
You'll be right by my side

If I could have just one request
Stay with me girl I confess
All my only dreams.

all my only dreams

2009-03-13T09:25:00.003+08:00

finally, there's time to post again on this blog. but before i go on, i've got two words.

POP LO!!

13 week BMT has ended, in a super-quick flash. what made it seem like eternity at times have all gone down the drain. being in the company with the biggest reputation in BMTC, i do not look back in regret. reaching levels of fitness i never thought possible was done all in 3 months. miraculous? i have no idea. but do-able? never thought so.

for these two weeks (almost) of block leave, i have packed it to the max with PLAY, RELAX and RESEARCH. these include:

-pwning zombies with an automatic shotgun in left4dead

-visiting sentosa at least twice

-whacking pulau ubin and tampines bike trail

-night urban ops [CLASSIFIED]

-researching on universities in europe, australia, canada, states, etc, etc.

-think of what to do on my birthday

-eat plenty of good food, especially seafood

-listen to more cantonese rock (i tell you, everyone should)

-club club club drink drink drink club club club again

-shopping for more clothings

-chill out with sean

-hang out with the princess

last night i had one of the sweetest dreams ever. it was so real, i could even feel what was in the virtual dimension. unfortunately, all the bliss ended when i woke up. snapping back to reality was not a good thing. but then again, i never have dreams like these. maybe it was because of the two whiskey cokes i had last night. or maybe princess cast some spell on me, i don't know. oh wait, she's not supposed to see or hear about this, because it involved her. and she's probably gonna squeeze an answer out of me somehow. omg omg omg.

lol

infantry

2009-03-01T11:39:00.002+08:00

P.O.P IN ONE WEEK!!

BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE BLOCK LEAVE

who wants to go clubbing again? hahahaha

serenity

2009-01-28T09:16:00.000+08:00

Anywhere you go, anyone you meet,

Remember that your eyes can be your enemies,

I said, well hell is so close

And heaven's out of reach

I ain't giving up quite yet, I've got too much to lose

Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl

Hold me down, sweet and low, and I'll carry you home

Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl

Hold me down, and I'll carry you home

Rain is gonna fall, the sun is gonna shine,

The wind is gonna blow, the water's gonna rise

She said, when the day comes, look into my eyes

No one's giving up quite yet, We've got too much to lose

Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl

Hold me down, sweet and low, and I'll carry you home

Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl

Hold me down, And I'll carry you all the way, You say you're fine

But you're still young, and out of line

All I need is to turn around, To make it last, to make it count

You're gonna make the same mistakes

That put my momma in her grave

And it won't be long

Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl

Hold me down, sweet and low, and I'll carry you home

Hold me down, sweet and low, little girl

Hold me down, and I'll carry you home.

the sounds of the army

2009-01-03T00:20:00.002+08:00

it's almost 100% predictable.

"reference row- reference row ready!"

"READY!"

"class- ready!"

"READY!"

"class- move out!"

"MOVE!!!"

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1. still take your time. whole lot knock it down."

"company, where is your sense of urgency? left it in the bunk is it?"

"no, sergeant."

"cannot echo loudly is it? got cock in your mouth is it?"

"NO, SERGEANT!!!"

"down!"

"ONE!"

"down!"

"TWO!"

"company...! awake already anot?"

"YES, SERGEANT!!"

"recover!"

"RECOVER!!"

"still take your time to recover. whole lot knock it down."

i bet this is going to stick with me for a long, long time.

big-ass hard drive

2008-12-11T00:47:00.002+08:00

recently, i discovered that my 30gb ipod video is running low on space, with only about 7gb left. In addition, the screen has weird lines on it (a problem that seems to occur on all 5.5g ipods) so videos are basically useless. As a result, i have decided to invest in bigger storage capacity, so i'm going to buy the 160gb/120gb ipod classic in black. Of course, this may seem like an easy decision, but buying an ipod involves more than selecting and paying.

The main issue with the latest ipod classic comes at a very big stake indeed-reviews have cited poorer sound quality than the ipod video, which is not good indeed given that i don't really like the video ipod's sound quality in the first place. Many of you guys would be saying that an ipod is an ipod, they're all the same, stuff like that but not many of you would know that different ipods have different sound quality. This is due to the chip embedded in the device, which converts digital audio. Some professionals went to open up the various models, and discovered the 5.5g ipod has the best chip ever, the same as those used in high-end home theatre systems. I didn't really like it though, it was too balanced for me. I'd like a touch more bass. The ipod i have that kicks the most ass is the 1st generation nano, the bass is really tight. Followed by the 60gb photo ipod and the 30 video (strangely enough). Nothing beats the nano but it has the smallest capacity among all. Yet, on websites, the best sounding ipod is the shuffle, which is super unfortunate because i cannot live with 2gb, and considering it doesn't come with an equalizer, it puts the ipod touch and classic to shame. Seriously.

I wouldn't buy an ipod touch because it's only 32gb, i don't like the way it arranges the music and it's plain too large for my pocket. I value these attributes in my music player:
-sound quality
-GAPLESS PLAYBACK
-looks
-music arrangement
-ease of use
-cycle/bike friendly
-support for my entire music library in lossless format (30mb per song)

Unfortunately, the 160gb is the only player that matches all the criteria except sound quality. What a disappointment. But for now, looks like i'll have to buy the classic. Nothing's gonna beat it for space, which is the main reason why i'm upgrading. Ah, apple fever!

:)

classical

2008-12-05T17:34:00.001+08:00

OMG damn chio!! i want those! i love wheelsets with nice big fonts cos they look prettier when spinning.

2008-12-03T17:38:00.002+08:00

monochrome

2008-12-03T16:17:00.002+08:00

all from our class that turned up: me, evadne, mark li, jeslyn, kai shun, gail leong, audrey, kian seng, lauren sim, piong.

of course, there's one thing in your entire life you won't forget about even when you're 80. that's prom night, needless to say. this year's monochrome-themed graduation night went smooth and well, a result of an effectively-organized plan.

on the day itself, about three hours before the event, i was at suntec city watching BOLT in 3D. apparently the glasses had major flaws--they wouldn't sit properly if you've got existing spectacles on and HATE contacts (like me), and you couldn't keep 'em. yes, you had to return them since they had security tags on it (or we'd have made off with at least a quarter of the theatre's). also, 3D movies aren't cheap: tickets were 12 bucks, and considering that normal tickets cost around 8 bucks on a weekday, the RENTAL OF 3D GLASSES WERE 4 BUCKS. now that sucks big time, but the show wasn't too bad. it presents too much an ideal of what a dog should look and be like, though :P

the movie ended way beyond what i expected (5pm) so i decided to walk over to taka to dress myself properly before heading off to grad night. it was extremely early so i just sat in one carpeted corner for about 15 minutes to give my fingernails a good manicure by buffing the shit out of them. i did a pretty good job, they were nice and shiny afterwards. haha.

next, it was back to the bathroom to wipe off all the sweat from walking across town, splash on some cologne and off to meritus mandarin. the hotel entrance had been shifted to the left of the building and there was plenty of construction work going on. the entire lobby reeked of turpentine and wet paint. we hung around for a while and after waiting almost an hour for AUDREY LOW to turn up, we decided to just go upstairs anyway. the ballroom was dressed in black and white theme (obviously) under a weird, sterile blue lighting. many cameras had their white balance haywire and the blue didn't appear, but i suffered from another problem: i brought the wrong lens. at 50mm, i had to move wayyyy back before i could take any full-body shots. it was a bad idea but i didn't have to use the flash gun the entire night.

so the rest of the event ensued--the games, the prizes, the insane amount of photo-taking, the dinner itself and the video montage (which was crap). the prizes were the most interesting, including travel vouchers, ipod classic and nanos, and of course the first prize a WII. our table didn't win much other than the game that required us to tie stuff onto a string. it happened that most of the items they required were on me that night so during the entire duration of the game i sat there without my watch, my spectacles, shoe and sock. kai shun lost his shoe and belt too, while i was amazed that piong and audrey successfully managed to tie a five-cent coin with a raffia string (wth?)

the dinner was just lame. i didn't pay much attention to the food, mainly because it was chinese food and trust me, i damn right dislike chinese food at big events. i hardly ate at all.

next was the voting for prom king/queen/best dressed etc etc. the winners were quite expected. there was even one guy who turned up in a yellow tank top, a bright red wig and a handbag. he, of course, walked away with some bling. the winners were ian shan and sonia mao, although i thought rachel goh would win (hey i did give my vote okay, and she was one of the contestants).

the lucky draw had the most suspense. unfortunately, our table did not win anything (in fact most of the prizes went to science class people which i did not even know). i wanted that ipod classic!! :(

the entire event ended with a massive phototaking session. camera flashes took place every other second, batteries died and were replaced. the entire top floor of the hotel was so packed that i was surprised it didn't collapse. we had trouble getting in the 3 lifts and back to the lobby where it stank again. finally, we left around midnight. i decided to screw the post-prom party cos hardly anyone was going for it and i already developed a headache. worst still, the public transport to clarke quay had stopped at that hour and there was no way i was gonna take a cab. so i made a mad dash across three shopping malls to the last 105 and got home around 1am.

the next day, the worst thing happened: my external hard disk failed and the prom photos were trapped inside. i have since passed the hard disk to an expert in professional data recovery: my grand uncle. hahaha.

in all, i didn't have much to say because this was the only prom i've attended so far. but our class seriously lacked some manpower. imagine all the extra fun we'd have. so IF YOU HAPPEN TO STILL BE IN THE COUNTRY AND YOU DECIDED NOT TO GO FOR PROM, YOU ARE A BUSTER. YOU SHOULD GO AND DIE.

=D

reversal

2008-11-27T16:25:00.000+08:00

sometimes life is kinda contradictory. oh well, touche. HAHAHAHA

dollar bills =D

2008-11-26T12:03:00.005+08:00

absolut choice

2008-11-25T22:13:00.002+08:00

okay. Here's to a simple to-do list this week (and the coming weeks):

-meet sean on thursday night, icekimo to gorge on D24 super durian waffles so that i can exhale my foul breath on some unsuspecting victim

-hopefully, at the same time, see another person or group of people get owned by the snack machine again :D

-friday night spent at sentosa, cafe del mar. I heard the service sucks, so we're heading there to see how bad it is. It seems like given my broke status, i gotta sneak in my own absolut vodka (damn right another bottle) in an ice mountain bottle so we all get drunk faster. :D

-prom night on 1st dec. Got my clothes settled already, so i'm just going to walk in with a suitcase, mafia-style.

-post-prom party right after. Damn, why am i always running out of alcohol?

-enlisting on 12dec. That's right, i can't be bothered to go on diets anymore. I have nothing much to do outside anyway, at least not something that i can afford. So, i shall happily make myself another $1.5k while in there. After all i'm going to need lots of bling bling after i leave the army.

-of course, mr tong's wedding on christmas. I've been hired as photographer, and it's about time i got some projects done. Time to train my button-pressing and lens-switching skills :)

-next, to find some way to get my automatic watches working properly. Ever since my mum got me the bell & ross watch, it hasn't stayed charged for more than 6 hours.

-finally-to meet up with christine. It's been quite a while. That girl doesn't even tell me what she wants to do or where to go. Goodness, poly life is busier than i thought, really. But nevertheless, i can't wait! :)

Got nothing against you, and surely i'd miss you.

mass laughter marathon

2008-11-21T11:58:00.002+08:00

win a date with mandy moore

2008-11-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHH!!! OMG this is so funny. isn't she hot? =P

twin-turbo saleen s7

2008-11-16T14:49:00.005+08:00

unfortunately, the nicest cars are the ones that don't exist in singapore. :(

GENERAL

Curb weight
2950 lb (1338 kg)
Weight distribution, F/R
40% / 60%
Fuel capacity
19.0 U.S. gal. (72 liters)
Wheelbase
106.30 in. (2700 mm)
Track, F/R
68.82 in. (1748 mm) / 67.32 in (1710 mm)
Width
78.35 in. (1990 mm)
Front overhang
40.59 in. (1031 mm)
Rear overhang
41.14 in. (1045 mm)
Length
187.95 in. (4774 mm)
Height
40.98 in. (1041 mm)
Ground clearance
4.00 in. (102 mm)
Trunk space, F/R
2.65 cu ft (75 liters) / 2.82 cu ft (80 liters)

CHASSIS

4130 lightweight steel space frame

with honeycomb composite panels

ENGINE
Type
All-aluminum V8, 2-valve pushrod
Displacement
7.0 liters
Bore and stroke
4.125 x 4.00 in. (104.8 x 101.6 mm)
Compression ratio
11.0:1
Pistons
Forged aluminum
Connecting rods
4340 forged billet steel
Crankshaft
4340 forged billet steel
Induction system
Air enters a roof intake, passes through a 90-mm mass air meter, feeding a carbon fiber plenum; from the plenum, air is routed to two twin-ball-bearing turbos, passes through an oval bore-throttle body into an aluminum intake manifold with eight individual runners
Cylinder heads
CNC machined, all-aluminum, Saleen high-flow
Valves
Stainless steel with titanium retainers;Intake: 2.125 in. (54.0 mm); Exhaust: 1.625 in. (41.3 mm);Beryllium exhaust seats
Valve train
Solid lifter/roller rocker
Exhaust system
Stainless steel high flow with merge collector incorporating dual catalysts per cylinder bank and EGR system; two twin-ball-bearing turbos with 44-mm wastegates
(Note: The 2006 S7 is not OBD II compliant and not available for sale or use in California)
Required fuel
91 octane
Alternator
140 amps
Battery
12 volts
Front Engine Accessory Drive (FEAD)
Compact drive system with side-mounted water pump
Emission control system
dual, heated oxygen sensorsper bank; high-volume EVAP system
Fuel system
High-capacity returnless with 42 lb/hr injectors
Oil system
High-vacuum dry sump configuration;Capacity: 12.6 qt (12.0 liters); aluminum oil tank
Horsepower
750 bhp @ 6300 rpm
Torque
700 lb-ft @ 4800 RPM
Redline
6250 rpm

COOLING SYSTEM

Carbon fiber front intake, feeding twi,front-mounted aluminum water radiatorswith ECU controlled electric cooling fans; oil-to-water heat exchanger

ELECTRONICS

Saleen PowerFlash control systemcomputer Integrated coil-on-plug ignition system

DRIVETRAIN

SUSPENSION
Transmission: Longitudinal, 6-speed allsynchromesh transaxle
Front suspension system: Unequal-length double wishbones, lightweight aluminum dampers withcoil-over springs, stabilizer (anti-roll) bar
Transmission Ratios
CNC machined billet aluminum flow-through uprights
1st 2.86:1
Rear suspension system: Unequal length doublewishbones, light-weight aluminum dampers withcoil-over springs, stabilizer (anti-roll) bar
2nd 1.61:1
CNC machined billet aluminum flow-through uprights
3rd 1.14:1
4th 0.96:1
5th 0.81:1
6th 0.64:1
Final-drive ratio 3.70:1
Limited-slip differential
Light-weight inboard and outboard tri-pod joints
High torque capacity steel halfshafts
Clutch: organic/metallic 8.0-in. twin disc; hydraulic actuation

BRAKES

Saleen-engineered/Brembo-supplied lightweight aluminum, six-piston mono-block calipers front/rear:15.0 in. ventilated discs (Front) 14.0 in. ventilated discs (Rear) Lightweight aluminum disc mounting bells

WHEELS AND TIRES

Saleen forged alloy wheels

Center locking wheel nuts with automatic safety locks: Front: 19 in. x 9.5 in. Rear: 20 in. x 12.0 in. High-performance Michelin Pilot Sport PS2Front 275/30ZR19 Rear 335/30ZR20

SAFETY FEATURES
Integrated roll protection
Aluminum honeycomb impact absorbing panels
3-point seat belts with automatic seat belt pre-tensioners
Carbon fiber rocker panels and doors
Aluminum honeycomb front crush structure, integratedrear crumple zones
Center-position fuel tank, passenger-side filler

INTERIOR FEATURES

SEATING AND TRIM
Black multi-tone leather/suede
Tan multi-tone leather/suede
Aluminum and color accents
Performance sport seating
Custom-fitted driver seating position
Leather-wrapped steering wheel

COMFORT AND CONVENIENCE
High-volume flow-through ventilation system
Air conditioning
Rearview video camera with interior LCD display
240 mph speedometer
Central-mounted tachometer
Fully adjustable tilt and telescoping steering column
Power windows
Power door locks with central locking system
Keyless remote for doors and front and rear trunks

Variable intermittent windshield wipers
Electric heated front windshield
Custom-made fitted luggage
Remote engine hatch/fuel-filler door releases
AM/FM/CD/DVD/TV systems

EXTERIOR FEATURES
Dual, power-operated door mirrors
Projector beam headlights
Heat-rejecting tinted glass
Autoclave carbon fiber body panels
Advanced wind-tunnel-developed aerodynamics including, integrated split-channel air flow throughout car; full underside aerodynamics; advanced-design front tray and side skirts; integrated full-body-width rear spoiler

just you wait...one day i will own this car.

even if i have to buy it in the United States.

let the bodies hit the floooooooooooorrrr!!

2008-11-15T00:18:00.000+08:00

post-exam euphoria

2008-11-14T15:57:00.003+08:00

okay, well, it wasn't THAT much of an excitement after all when the papers ended. there wasn't enough people to make a real socially-exciting post-exam scenario. no tables or chairs flew, no windows were broken. in fact, not even a single crushed piece of paper was thrown. oh well, i probably didn't stay long enough to see any of that anyway.

right after the exam, i headed straight home after stopping by toa payoh to purchase some patch kits for my deflated bike tires and went home to fix, or rather, PIMP jiang's bike. it was in the sorriest state i've ever seen. the gears were scratched, the chains and cables were rusted beyond recognition and both tires had been drifted till flat. so basically, i spent the next four hours dismantling the entire bike down to the skeleton and replaced most of the parts. some screws and nuts were so darn tight that i actually teared trying to lean my entire body weight on an allen key. after ruining two allen keys on one particular nut that refused to budge, everything was fine. gave it new tires, tubes, brakes, gear shift cables, chain and gear system, as well as to do a thorough clean up by HAND. i don't get to do things like that on school days so it was pretty fun. the end product was then finished with the addition of some sponsor stickers and it looked like this:

since i was already swimming in grease and sweat when i was done, i thought that i'd might as well drop by darren's shop to buy a new helmet. sponsored by my mum, i rode in the rain to toa payoh on my own bike (which i just repaired) and got a white one for $120. it's extremely light and of course looks damn cool.

by then, it was around 5pm and there was nothing much to do so i set-up the wii-fit game that just arrived and fiddled around for a while.

that was about the whole of 13 november. there was nothing much else, other than shannon coming over at 10pm just to realise that we ran out of drinks so we just sat in the room and talk rubbish until 12am where he left.

today, i made an even greater achievement: i re-strung my guitar in one hour. with it being my second time, i was like why not try it myself since i have so much time after the exams, so i just went ahead and attempted it (i had nothing to lose anyway since my previous strings were stuck to the guitar for about 6 months and had disgusting rust on it). after one hour of trial and error, i got it. one hour is the most pathetic of times for other guitarists but hey, considering i'm new to floating bridges, it's quite an achievement.

finally: another product to rant about! it's the BOSS ME-50 this time, which is multi-effects for the guitar. it consists of delay, 22 overdrive/distortion channels, 6 expressions, modulations and a wah pedal. after watching videos on youtube, i was suitably impressed. this is next on the buying list!

okay so my life after exams is quite deprived, as you can see. it's all bike and guitar. but well, i didn't get to do much of it during school. at least, not in a way that i felt more carefree. so if you don't like what i'm talking about, too bad for you cos all i plan to do are the things i didn't get to in school! =D

bedtime stories

2008-11-12T17:44:00.003+08:00

Let me tell you 'bout a girl I know
That comes alive when you take off her clothes
There's no telling just where she's been
Ask around but no one seems to know

Late at night when you're looking to sin
Call her up and she'll lay down the law
You can't trust her 'cause she'll lie to your face
But that's not why you gave her a call

Waist deep inside
The lust and burning desire

We've all been more than eager to sin
And it feels alright, 'till we pay the price
Now you choose either naughty or nice
'Cause she's here for you
It's all yours tonight
You won't believe the stories I've been told
About a girl I know

Another thing about this girl I know
She's more comfortable down on her knees
Went to school, got a job, and then she shot into hell
All 'cause she's born to please

Don't get her mixed up 'cause she knows what she likes
Can tell the difference between right and wrong
She knows you're watching every one of her moves
Just more reason to string you along, yeah

Waist deep inside
The lust and burning desire

We've all been more than eager to sin
And it feels alright, 'till we pay the price
Now you choose either naughty or nice
'Cause she's here for you
It's all yours tonight
You won't believe the stories I've been told
About a girl I know

The first time's hard enough
But you made it through
The second time I see the changes in you
She's got you somehow
You're needing her now

We've all been more than eager to sin
And it feels alright, 'till we pay the price
Now you choose either naughty or nice
'Cause she's here for you
It's all yours tonight
You won't believe the stories I've been told
About a girl I know.

16 November is coming....that's when we ROLL!!! ha ha ha! >;)

walk

2008-11-08T00:59:00.001+08:00

some recent updates in between exams and all-

-i finally got my phone repaired. After waiting for a week, nokia supposedly stuffed in a new screen and changed the entire motherboard for me (yes i stressed recurrent problems) so it's almost as good as new. I hate that the finish is such a fingerprint magnet but that's the problem with all chrome coloured ones. Anyway, i'll be keeping this one for quite a while, it seems to do everything. Shannon & i spent minutes at coffee bean trying to crack the default password which ended up being 'lock phone'. Kudos for reverse psychology there.

-somehow, every time i listen to 'island in the sun' it makes me feel more depressed. Island therapy awaits on this coming weekend when we're all free!

-i have plans to switch my guitar pickups to the dimarzio evolution 1 & 2s after exams because stock is becoming too stock.

-the most amazing thing happened today. Not many of you would believe it, it seems almost irrational. Yet, i'll say it-i injured myself during the math paper 2 exam. Yes, i did. It didn't involve any freak protractor accident or GC battery explosion, but rather the concentration in the paper actually caused self inflicted injury. Here's how it goes-for the first 2 hours i sit in one position doing the questions and before i get on the last two questions in the last hour, i decided to take a great stretch & that was when i heard that terrible crack. I had sprained my neck and the pain wasn't going to go away. So for the next hour, i had to sit in a really awkward position, finished off the paper with great success and got my sorry-ass neck back home to the infrared machine. It didn't work other than to give me a sweat, so i slapped on a piece of tiger balm strain pads. In the evening, i went cycling again. Terrible mistake. Sweat and tiger balm causes one of the most horrendous burning sensations that's uncalled for and it felt like someone had doused my neck in lighter fluid and lit it.

-met sean at his condo again, this time it was two jc1 girls who got pwned by the olive tree vending machine. One of them bought twisties (i dunno who eats twisties at 12am) and it got stuck in the spiral dispenser thing so she started screaming and the other one ran back. They both started attacking the machine with such hilarious anti-physics moves that lasted at least a good 5 minutes. After 51 hits (yes i counted) they successfully managed to get their twisties back. We did it in 3. Ha ha! Vending machine 1, stupid girls 0.

-i think my bike is possessed. It started losing air today and i had to pump it up high at the petrol kiosk before rushing home, hoping that the tires won't deflate before i get back or it's have-fun-pushin'. Got back on time, and i realised it lost no air at all when i reached home. Tires are still solid as a rock. Will see tomorrow, hopefully they don't explode tonight and summon the guards or resident committee.

-my mum got me the new a7x album (cool eh?) and it's pretty darn good. Listening to 'walk', a pantera cover before the math exam can do you great justice in hyping your spirits. The live concert dvd was kickass, though a bit short.

-the instrumental 'for the love of god' by steve vai is ownage. Someone please teach me how to play it! :)

-4 more papers to the end of government education! Bleh, i've had enough. I'll start compiling a list of things to do to celebrate. Of course, that includes whiskey coke. Shannon tay, you stay away from me! XD

-as usual, i'm off to gain world domination. Because world domination brings powwwwer, unlimited poooooowwerrr!!! =D

just a thought

2008-11-04T19:52:00.001+08:00

A levels are pretty......

sterile. in some sort.

math was great success, but if you think the armegaddon paper 1 was tough, wait till apocalypse paper 2.

we're all going down........to the promised land! =D

hurricane 2000

2008-10-25T20:41:00.001+08:00

who said metal doesn't go with an orchestra? :)

lead a stress-free life

2008-10-20T19:01:00.002+08:00

watch these videos. hahaha.

graduates

2008-10-12T12:01:00.004+08:00

graduation is something like what mystery says--you see it coming, but when it happens, it's still a shock."

though these two years might be tough and full of pitfalls, we made it through.

i don't know if that's good or bad.

a half of me wants to graduate ; to see the world, to experience REAL LIFE, to be more responsible for myself.

the other half wants to go back to school again and to repeat the same, blissful cycle over and over, and over again.

many a time we have had people walk up to us and tell us, "you never really treasure something until it is lost".

somehow this philosophy is screwing up my mind because i haven't thought of any way to counter this. i might someday, but it will take a really long time because memories are things i like to keep.

nonetheless, for now, i'd like to say that i love my class. you guys were the best i ever had to learn new stuff and to make myself a better person. i hope each of you felt the same way too.

for now, here's a song that makes pretty good sense i suppose. get used to this song because something's coming up real soon. watch this space.

As I sit in this smokey room
The night about to end
I pass my time with strangers
But this bottle's my only friend

Remember when we used to park
On butler street out in the dark
Remember when we lost the keys
And you lost more than that in my backseat

Remember when we used to talk
About busting out - wed break their hearts
Togheter - forever

Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends
Hoping it would never end
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
Holdin on - we got to try
Holdin on to never say goodbye

Remember days of skipping school
Racing cars and being cool
With a six pack and the radio
We didn't need a place to go

Remember at the prom that night
You and me we had a fight
But the band they played our favorite song
And I held you in my arms so strong

We danced so close
We danced so slow
And I swore Id never let you go
Together - forever

simple updates

2008-09-30T20:48:00.002+08:00

avenged sevenfold is coming to singapore AGAIN! too bad it's on the 24th october, it's such a waste because it's only a few days before the big One.

work so far has been all good!

the gadget next on the to-buy list: headphone amplifier

current mood: stoned/bored/steroidal

current fastest bike speed: 0km/h (that's what the broken speedometer shows once i exceed 30km/h T.T)

current interest: M.M.

songs on the to-master list: cliffs of dover, for the love of god

bike condition: mediocre

guitar condition: poor

mental condition: turbo mode

current bites: island creamery mud pies, jack daniels whiskey coke

current political inclination: democratic (yes, it DOES change. only that the other option is APATHETIC.)

current thought: "when will i get my BMW M3?"

metropolis

2008-09-20T21:33:00.002+08:00

.....so i'll be paying a visit to the ol' Honda-Civic, Toyota-Camry nation this december (yes sean that WAS a personal attack on your vehicle) to see, um....

snow.

gimme a minute while i try to recall what i saw on the planning paper.

okay i can't remember a single thing other than hot springs. so yes, hot springs and snow. a WEEK of hot springs and snow. the life!

that reminds me of the snow song by RHCP.

(singing) "hid beneath the cover of another perfect wonder and it's so white as snowwwww"

ahem. back to economics essay writing.

anyone wants to tell me how much i should save for a one week trip? i expect to bring back the following after:

1) a few Honda Civics to bash up with my bare fists (they do dent actually under human force)
2) the hot spring tub
3) truckloads of salmon sashimi & ikura (roe)
4) japanese girls (no not those cosplay crap, you turds.)
5) C02-powered pellet guns and rifles
6) robotic dog to attack my current mortal ones (wait, can they do that?)
7) freshly-washed hotel towels
8) DFS alcohol
9) made-in-japan shimano bike parts
10) a signature of the yakuza boss on my ass

seems like i'm only able to afford the last one. oh well, to work! i shall go look for the yellow pages so i can give him a ring for sushi when i'm there.

till then, all you guys enjoy yourselves too!

you got 4 minutes!

2008-09-08T20:19:00.000+08:00

family fun! grrreat success!

2008-09-07T10:08:00.003+08:00

just when i thought the only thing we had was a boring PS3 with hardly any games, i saw this in the corner.

Ah! A new console! =D who's in for some wii bowling or fitness games? Haha!

island in the sun

2008-09-02T10:02:00.002+08:00

hmmm. I wonder what happened to our island in the sun. It's been raining for days. Following the SAME STUPID PATTERN every day-morning is bright until about 10am, it rains like hell in intervals for the whole damn day until late evening where it stops. It's one of the most irritating weather patterns you can have, literally. Because the afternoon is where the sun's at. We hardly get to see brighter days. We don't get to go outdoors in the afternoon. The sky's always giving the same stupid downcast look so much that if it were a face, i'd have given it a good square punch long ago.

In a way, it's hard to see another day where it doesn't rain a bit, where i can just bask in the nice, warm sun from morning till evening, along the beaches of sentosa or the quiet waters of upper seletar reservoir. I miss those hot days.

Even though i study geography, it does not help knowing how the seasons work, because i can't even do anything about it. What i do know, however, is that there is a possibility that the rain is caused by those who keep burning stuff for whatever religious festival, it's pointless, it's polluting the air & destroying the environment. These are the things that could have caused the rain. But then again, i might be wrong.

Either way, complaining is not on my list because i refuse to be one of those who just sit on their fat asses and talk shit about their surrounding situations. I'm going to do whatever i can about it because that's where i get real enlightenment on what i can change. Who knows, i might even think of something that would change the world completely. Ah, the wonders of taking action!

Till then. Out.

as always.

2008-08-14T23:32:00.001+08:00

don't push me to do things you never think i'd do.

but why would you give a fuck anyway?

cliffs of dover :O

2008-08-03T13:47:00.000+08:00

omg imagine if cjc rockafella was like that.

afterlife

2008-07-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

everything has an afterlife. what's yours?

it's all from the heart

2008-07-07T20:28:00.003+08:00

before i begin on the actual talk-talk, let's see how much you know about the world today. in the video below are a number of facts that i'm willing to bet you have no idea about, for at least half of it. take the test, be true to yourself, and ask yourself from your deepest thoughts and emotions--"do i really know what is going on in the world?"

alright. bet that caught you off-guard, huh? that goes to show that there is so much information flowing about, you can never say that you know the world at your fingertips. every second, a new word is formed, a new technology is discovered, a new individual is born ; the world is changing at such an alarming rate that education concerning all of these has to struggle to keep up with conveying the knowledge to people like us. but first, you might like to ask yourself the question--what is education?

a really wonderful place i visit to learn every weekend is the School of Thought. in the most recent lecture, we have discussed eductaion and we have come to the conclusion that education is defined as the following: to get every individual AND society as a whole a chance to be successful. also, it is an interplay of 2 challenging processes--getting knowledge that is outside to move inside and vice versa.

however, this definition raises another question that must be very obvious to you at this point in time--WHAT IS THE MEANING OF SUCCESS? what is a successful life? what is a successful society? basically, success involves many different aspects:

1. material dimension (like the wealthy, rich & developed)
2. intellectual dimension (concerning the intelligent)
3. emotional dimension (being happy and satisfied)
4. social dimension (the gracious and kind individuals)
5. moral dimension (being noble, righteous, etc.)

in all these different dimensions, what you make of success is really based on what you feel is success to you. it's like how a priest's definiton of success is different from a solid economist's definition of success. a priest might see success as being able to share the word of God in the human world, to consult, care for and fulfill his mission God entrusted him with to others on earth, essentially the people of God. by 'mission', i mean many different entities (there is no single one that defines it so go check out The Purpose-Driven Life if you're interested). however, in the businessman aspect, his definition of success may be to maximise his profits, please his shareholders, ensure the company runs smoothly, to work with clients co-operatively, and most of all to enjoy the gratification that monetary rewards bring him. everybody has a different concept of what works, but whether these ideas are accepted thoroughly is a separate scenario altogether.

in short, a successful journey depends in whether we reach the final destination we wanted to get to in the first place. here's another test for you--ask yourself the question: if apocalypse were to occur tomorrow and you know about it, will you consider your own life a success at this point in time? will you consider Singapore/your society a successful one as well? chances are, you'd say 'no' for the first one and a half-'yes' for the second. nothing's perfect anyway.

going back to education, referring to what i said above, we cannot be fully educated about what goes on in the world. it's impossible to have perfect knowledge. why? because edication changes so quickly. if you've got time, take a look at the social studies textbooks in the secondary syllabus. two years ago, there were topics discussing knowledge-based economies, as well as the argument of why our own country's healthcare system is better than the UK's heavily-subsidised, monetarily-free healthcare. i have no idea what spurred the change, whether it was due to globalisation or that singapore has finally decided to take off the amount of propaganda through education in secondary schools, that caused the KBE chapter to be omitted completely and the evaluation of the healthcare systems made so much less unbiased. maybe it's about time singapore realised what was going wrong and took the step to neutralise the problem, i don't know. i'm just speculating. but what i do know, and what YOU do know now, is that when such drastic changes are made to education processes, it does indicate in fact that this shift of education is no small thing or a joke. it's real, just like how globalisation is real and inevitable (in fact it has already taken place), like how the income gap will just get wider and wider, and like how the world will eventually reach its end.

that said, let me evaluate education as a solution to our problems. firstly, education is one of our best long-term solutions becuase it deals with roots of problems, mindsets and values, therefore preventing them from recurring. however, on the other hand, education needs the support of long-term solutions because it does not deal with the symptoms of the problem that stops the situation from escalating. it does not address immediate and pressing issues.

why education has its faults is due to the fact that it cannot be effectively implemented in every society. education might be useful in developing countries of the world to improve living standards and such, but in developed societies, do we still need to use education to improve the already-high living standards? it's more of staying relevant than basic education.

from all of these information, i shall now take my stand. before you read this, i request sincerely, please do not fault me for my thinking because you think it is wrong in your eyes. you may be younger or older, taller or shorter, or live in a completely different society from mine, but the key to understanding is respect. i will accept your values and your mindset because i don't expect everyone to think like me, behave like me, or share the same morals as me. i know that every individual will do well based on his own expectaions and goals, it's just a matter of shaping them. likewise, the plans i have might need some shaping too, like how it might be useful if i were sometimes pointed in the right direction. some might say that if i disobey a certain 'value' or set path, i'd have to learn things the hard way, and though that might be true in certain situations, i would disagree. no matter what route is taken, there is bound to be hardship--no route is perfectly smooth. in order to pursue anything at all, a certain degree of hardship is necessary. nothing comes easily. it's like saying how the A levels and a degree are 'the way' to go. true, you've pointed me in a direction that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH IT WHATSOEVER AND IS A REALLY GOOD PATH TO FOLLOW to get to where many people perceive as a highly-educated person. i do not fault you for that or disagree with that at all. i personally believe that it is achievable by many individuals, no doubt about it. what i do not agree with, however, is that this 'way' is the only way to reach that final destination and to attain that extremely sought-after goal by many. it is still possible to get there via an alternative path in which you might see as 'learning it the hard way', but look back to what you said about the first route. is this first route absolutely easy? does it require no hardship? like i said, everything requires a degree of struggle so that you will be deserving. i contend that there is no such thing as 'a route harder than another', because what might seem easy at first might also have a whole bunch of difficulty later. i absolutely dislike putting theories into subjective topics like this. it's like how i will always say that love is not a theory, glosablisation is not a theory, success is most definitely not a theory and in this case, education is not a theory. call me a non-conformist, but that's how i see things and i am extremely happy the way they appear to me. without theories, in comes the arguments, changing morals and such. to the mathematicians, i see all these topics as having a variance of infinity.

while theories might be useful in their absolution, creativity is what is killed when people start following set definitions and guidelines, the 'rules', 'by-the-book' or whatever you may call it. ever wonder how creativity was born? it was from people who deliberately challenged the traditional norms. here's an explanation by sir ken robinson about education in relation to creativity at the TED conference.

by saying that those who challenge norms emerge the creative ones, i do NOT, by any means, suggest that challenging the absolute truths, such as the law, are going to result in creativity. neither do i support any one of you purposely going against your parents and caregivers to tell them you're trying to be creative. that's just stupidity. if you want your respect for your choices, SHOW the respect in the first place. respect is mutual, and you can loathe that for all i care, but it is so and WILL remain so.

i'd like to share a recent experience of mine. a few weeks back, as i sat at in the school hall doing my mathematics mid-year papers, i somehow felt the same way i did two years ago, back in 2006 where i sat for the same subject's examination. i can't really put a definitive word to the emotion i went through, but it was quite like a bit of frustration, a bit of confusion, a bit of reflection and some reminisce put together, garnished with a minute sense of anxiety. quite a number of thoughts went through my mind at that time, the first one being "why am i sitting for this paper?" without a doubt, i was a tad unsure of whether what i was doing was really what i wanted. sure, i quite enjoyed what i was set out to do when i entered junior college, it was one of the biggest learning points in my life but why do i only get the hunch that there was something not quite right only now? was there something i overlooked? was there something missing? i wasn't too sure. next, i asked myself, "why do i keep getting the same feeling whenever i do the paper? is this trying to indiacate something?" then my mind just rewound all the way back to before i entered JC. in 2006, sure, i had the suggestion of doing physics-maths-economics and i took it up without much real consideration, i was only 16 then and really looking at life options was about one of the last things i thought of doing. so i paid the 'price', screwed up all the grades and ended up at another milestone in my life--deciding whether to continue JC education. so i did, i took another year to look at the syllabus and i told myself that this was the 'set' route to follow, and that i'd better not get derailed from these tracks or i'm basically done for. i did what i could for my promotional examinations in 2007, just tried to work it all off. i DID make it in the end, but that was a period of one of my greatest fear because half my mind already believed that i had failed my promos for the second time. at this point, i'd like to finally open the doors to something i have not really told anyone before, especially those who are closest to me. at that time i thought it's be better to just leave it alone since it was considered 'cleared', so i didn't bring it up. but well, here it is: to meet the promotion criteria, i had to attain at least an 'E' pass in all subjects. my results shown on the slip were CDEEE, but in actual fact, to the real academic capabilty of myself, i had gotten CESSS instead. that was three subjects that i failed. all were H2s. S is one grade less than E, with the biggest gap being 5 marks away. the reason why my result slip showed CDEEE was due to the moderation of the marks within the school. during that time, i was already halfway out the school gate--deep inside me i knew i had failed and that i was going to get knocked upside down, but i just kept praying and praying that a miracle would happen at that time because i was overwhelmed with fear. i don't know how the resultant grade came about, whether my prayers were answered or i was just lucky. but today, i somehow felt the same way when i did my math paper not too long ago--when i left the hall, i told myself, i would be really happy if i even managed to pass this subject at all. i entered the examination hall relatively well-prepared, with my expectation being at least a 'D' grade. somehow, while doing the paper itself, my hopes diminished and i just felt that something wasn't right somewhere with my decision. when i got home that day, i could do correctly the same exam questions without any aid whatsoever, something which i had failed to do in the actual examination hall. i had gone in with the spirit of a soldier going to war and to 'go down with a fight', but i left the venue telling myself it was over. that's when i decided it was time to do even greater personal reflections, something i had so unknowingly neglected over the years. after attending the SOT lecture, i told myself that i HAD to get it right, i HAD to create a master plan ; a blueprint. nothing else to embark on except to work a plan first. i had to evaluate on whether what i was currrently doing was right, for me. before attending SOT at all, i shaped my plans on what others told me was good, what others told me would suit me well. i respected their advice and took it, but today i realised that there is only one person other than God who knew me so well that i could only take directions from him----myself.

after the lecture, i believed that what i become comes from myself and nothing more. i believed that if i did what i trusted myself to do, the results would follow. sure, i fully realise that the road ahead may be a tough one, so tough that i might break down, i might lose my mind at times or i might cause others to worry for me, but once i learnt to break through that entire wall, i'd be so much happier. i'd be happy because i did what i wanted to do, happy because i knew it was right to listen to myself, happy because i took the step to decide in spite of what i feared, and happy because my parents, friends, God, my loved ones and others are happy that i am happy where i was. at the end of the day, i'd know that i made the right choice.

attending school of thought gave me a much greater insight into how i should see life as. it might have courses labelled "A-level GP" but other than the skills syllabus, what i have really learnt there was to open my perspectives. i learnt to see things from a macro view, rather than a confined space. i learnt how values worked and how the world functions. the learning process continues this instant, but what i can say is, SOT has taught me more things than any other form of lesson, tuition or tutorial has taught me. i'm not commercially advertising for them here, and neither are these views of mine taught to me by the school in a persuasive manner. they stated their arguements, and i took up what i chose to believe in. i know that the road ahead is going to be extremely difficult, some people might not be happy with what i've decided to become and there's plenty of uncertainty, but i have mentally prepared myself for the worst. after all, the tougher the problems, the more i learn. and isn't that what education is about? i'd prefer the word "learn" to "grades" anytime, for it's the life skills that get you where you are, and not the papers. that's where my aims of success come from. if you support me in my learning journey, i sincerely thank you for accepting me and i hope that we can become even closer.

ben

smokin' rotors

2008-07-03T21:35:00.003+08:00

finally got my avid BB7 disc brakes installed today. that almost completes the modifications i'd do to it for a long while before i upgrade the drivetrain later. that would probably max out my bike so for now i'll just run it as it is. here are the juicy pictures:

darren first installing the rear 165mm rotors and calipers

the rear brake is done! the old brake is still on it though, it was removed afterward.

conducting some alignment checks

final fine-tuning.

the completed product. how cool is that! anyway i've still got to get used to them, they don't bite as well as my previous brakes but i suppose that's just a brake pad issue. also, while inflating the tires, my arms accidentally touched the rotors and almost got fried. ow. these things ain't funny, they go up to a few hundred degrees under hard braking.

amazing

2008-06-15T19:44:00.003+08:00

yesterday, we hit the south shore of singapore to participate in the amazing race held by foochow methodist church. four of us (sean, dawn, me and jacky) got our group from randomly mixing people and three of us weren't even from the church. our pre-event discussions reminded us that we were only doing this for fun and we had absolutely no plans on winning AT ALL. we planned to walk the whole time, more to enjoy the scenery and spend time together rather than running up and down.

the weather was horrendously scorching and all of us couldn't stand being in the sun so we applied sunblock and hid under shade when we could. we had to play some ice-breaker stuff at the starting which was pretty lame and unproductive (i will not go into details) but the good thing was we didn't have to hang around this area for long, or we'd have died of heatstroke (yes, it was THAT hot.)

when the race was flagged off, none of the people from the 12 teams actually even jogged to their first station. everyone just strolled from one end to another. it was pretty amusing, but judging from the people we saw at the meeting point earlier we knew not many of them would actually run.
so basically, we went around answering questions, with the help of a map, the number 1800-SENTOSA, sean's GPRS network (i couldn't get wi-fi) and being observant. some stations were action stations, which means we had to do something "complex" or challenging before we got to get our answers. they were pretty okay.

we got our answers quite quickly but we always thought someone had beat us to it (someone always does anyway). but we had no idea how things turned out and we ended up being the first team to come in with the most number of correct answers (amazing huh?) and so we got the first cash prize of $100 (to be split between 4 people). overall, the race was quite okay (the questions couldn't boggle people like us who have been there countless times for the not-so-island-life reasons) and we were initially quite surprised with our win until we realised that 8 teams had given up and gone home by the time the race ended. lol.

so basically, we went back to vivo with dawn's super-weird friend (who looked and dressed like a rabbit) to have dinner. since many of us didn't have lunch (and mango yogurt ice cream is not), we were starving and had our dinner at superdog. jacky blew his $25 on two superdog meals because he must have been dying already and had to finish up another two packs of fries becasue the rest couldn't finish theirs. after dinner, we found an empty space on the rooftop garden, set our stuff down, bought a few bottles of bacardi and toasted to our winning as well as to play drinking games. someone cheated with apple-aloe vera instead of alcohol.

the only person with the huge 7-11 bag and not a glass bottle

this was just the beginning of jacky's meal--the first bite. many more to come.

someone's under-age drinking. call the police and get the easter bunny arrested!

how we had to ask more than 5 shops whether they'd split the money for us and got turned down (even by a money-changer). eventually we decided to visit the best place--the bank.

life or death--you choose

2008-06-15T19:25:00.002+08:00

this is pretty cool, they've thought up a good story to complement the lyrics. if you want to see the lyrics, search for 'a little piece of heaven'. warning: watch this only if you do not plan to have a meal after.

middle-eastern rap

2008-06-11T23:01:00.000+08:00

the suffering faith

2008-06-01T03:19:00.006+08:00

why, God, do i only turn to you when i'm in difficult situations instead of happy and resolved ones?

why, God, do i keep straying from you when deep inside i know that you're always watching and there can be no one else?

why, God, am i so unfaithful and being fully aware of it but not doing anything?

why, God, does this happen everytime but it seems i'll never break out of it?

why, God, do i keep apologizing each time it happens but don't take time off to address your love when i'm done?

why, God, am i losing my grip on you?

why, God, do you still keep me alive when i don't seem to be able to fulfill even a small requirement like this?

i've let you down.

truths

2008-06-01T02:29:00.009+08:00

before reading further, please take time to think on whether you agree with what i say. That's purely subjective, i believe, and i know that not everyone will agree with me, but i won't hold you responsible for it if you disagree because i am not God and what i say may not always be right under all circumstances.

everyone is raised differently, that is a fact that anyone will agree with. That's called an ABSOLUTE truth. There are two types of truths-absolute ones and relative ones. In the former, you don't get a choice whether to believe it or not because plainly, it has been accepted as the norm already and deviating from this truth will just cause you greater problems.

Relative truths, on the other hand, is what i'm going to strongly emphasize on because it's the subjective, differential type of truth that we believe. In fact, i shouldn't use the word 'truth' in the previous sentence because that's just biased and it will steer you to believe that what i'm saying is right. WRONG. I want you to have a clear mind, not straying off you values and morals to believe me. Remember that i am not almighty or omnipresent, so if you think they are lies, by all means, hold on to your beliefs. They're what you stand strong upon and what made you who you are today. Don't change that. You're doing fine, but i hope that you will understand what i am saying from an equally unbiased point of view. Mutual respect is what drives us in today's world. If you don't believe it, it's fine, but at least give me the respect i deserve. It's like attending a church mass. If you are not christian, are you going to behave like all the christians around you think the same way? Will you answer your phone and talk loudly during prayer or communion? The least you'd do is to be silent to show respect right? Same thing works here.

To prevent myself from veering away from the main point, i shall go straight to the issue on relative truths now. Since they cannot be based on a benchmark, they will appear pleasant to some but revolting to others. The most basic, layman way of providing an example is this-imagine you were locked up in a basement for your entire life ever since you were born-being fed, groomed, taught and looked after by your parent there, and your parent tells you that you are experiencing the best life you could have since you get two meals a day instead of others who only get one-until you reach adulthood and are released, won't your definition (in other words, truth) of a good life be defined by two meals a day and being chained to a basement wall? However, this is in stark contrast to that of a typical child who experiences the 'normal' way of growing up-three meals a day, goes to school, has friends to speak to and parents who take them out to the mall, whose truth of a good life fully differs from that of the one who has been locked up.

Whatever i've said, however, is just an example. You are free to find many applications to real life situations because i have just given you the base point. Up to this point i believe you've got no rebuttal to make because i have just spoken facts instead of bringing up my arguments.

Morals was the issue i brought up a few posts ago. I shall elaborate on that by linking it up with the content of this post. The greater the knowledge you have, the more morals and hence responsibilities you are entrusted with. What you do with them is only punishable by your conscience. People who punish you because they've got a different set of morals are just being unreasonable, insensitive and disrespectful. Like what i said, what you believe in does not necessarily mean they believe in it too. Again, it's fine, but it's not when they think you are absolutely wrong under all circumstances. The absolute truth is NOT the same as the relative truth, and similarly, the absolute wrong is not the same as the relative wrong too, if that's how you phrase it. Therefore you have to keep in mind that since they are different, you've gotta be extra careful in knowing when and how to separate the two. Merging the two together is the recipe for great mistakes, but that's what i believe and i will stand strong to it.

So, my point is-everyone has different knowledge capacities and storing power, which leads to different responsibilities, morals, rights and wrongs, definitions, absolute and relative truths and the construction of these truths.

I urge everyone to give it a shot-take a look around you, apply it to your daily lives, use it to work situations out and to prevent yourself from taking sides, being biased or disrespectful. But keep in mind, and i emphasize again-absolute truths are NOT relative truths. Please do yourself and those around you a favour when you embark on this train of thought by remembering to separate the two-it's just not worth being looked down upon because you behave in an immature manner.

Just an issue i thought i'd like to raise so that we'll all be more aware. I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, and we're all not God, so let us learn.

assumptions

2008-05-31T01:10:00.005+08:00

many a time i have realised that people just love to work with assumptions. We all do that, for sure. That's where the word 'initiative' is derived from. Assumptions give us a separate, but somehow linked piece of information that might be useful in helping us make a decision when the time calls for it. It's where we excel at things when expectations are met, since everyone lives around expectations too. It's natural, it's who we are as humans and that's perfectly fine.

What is NOT fine, however, is the abuse of one's own assumptions to make a decision that leads to even greater doubts and problems for either yourself or those around you. What i mean by 'abuse' is allowing past experiences or occurrences to decide on situations that are completely unrelated in the present and thinking that you are taking initiative. When i say 'initiative', it's not a general term or a neutral term. It's a positive term, and when things start getting out of hand, you just don't call that initiative anymore.

I call that mindlessness.

What makes the above matter even worse is thinking and behaving that you acted on initiative instead. You can go ahead and comfort yourself, live in great gratification because you did the 'right thing' and keep telling yourself that, it's okay. You might be right, and in certain cases you could probably be let off. That's due to luck. But if you are wrong, well, then expect to bear the full consequences of your actions. They're not going to be very pleasant.

Indeed.

the arch angel joins the family

2008-05-26T20:33:00.005+08:00

today, i'd like to make a formal introduction of a new member to the life of division-street.

it's called the Arch Angel.

the limited-edition white suntour XCM-LO fork with lockout function. rigidity rules.

look at that thing.

i'm sponsored.....sort of.

scandium is a super light material, supposedly stronger than carbon.

the nice, mirrored truvativ crankset and top-of-the-line shimano XTR gear system. bling.

bits of carbon-fibre, everybody's (almost) favourite material!

the super-strong (but not so light) thomson elite seatpost. these things cost $100 in the market but i got myself an insane deal for less than $50.

idolism

2008-05-24T00:03:00.003+08:00

shirleen is a damn good singer. serious.

....and here are the rest. lol.

stupid mats.

responsibilities

2008-05-17T21:36:00.000+08:00

it's about time we take some good responsibilty and spread the love. LOL

battle of the best

2008-05-15T23:09:00.002+08:00

this is the all-new 2008 shimano XTR shadow rear derailleur. nice carbon cage arm, supposedly top of the line. what people don't know is, the shadow status of this thing doesn't exactly help much because carbon fibre + rock = broken derailleur. RRP: $158.

this, however, is the new XT shadow rear dee. basically no fancy materials to speak of, unless you consider aluminium one. second in line after XTR, this does not break upon contact with boulders or the like. in fact, it shifts at the same speed as the XTR series, due to incorporation of the 2007 XTR technology. the only difference is the weight, measured in grams. RRP: $85.

the price difference is self explanatory. if you ride a bike and don't have one of these yet, put it on your to-buy list. otherwise, enjoy what you have. if you've got an XTR shadow, you suck. bleh.

one good reason why you should ride a bike

2008-05-01T18:23:00.001+08:00