the outsiders

ever since i moved into my new second home, which is the Catholic Church of St. Ignatius, i have been going for sunday evening mass every week without fail, and every week is a rewarding experience. it's just so calm, so peaceful, right before mass, the perfect environment for just saying what you have in mind to God. i usually reach there early, so the church hall is empty save for a few early-arrivers as well.

the temperature of the main hall is just right--not too warm, not too cold. when i'm sweating i dry out rather quickly, but it never gets too cold to the point where i have to put on a jacket. just a week ago, i discovered something new and interesting--if you sit in the row right in front of the choir, the acoustic voices of those in it will be reproduced with great clarity and the right tones. it's amazing, you can actually feel the difference between sitting there and way back of the hall and let the voices be electronically amplified with speaker cones instead. usually, the first two rows in front of the choir are completely empty. i guess people are missing out on something. it really makes you wanna sing along as well.

i admit that i can get a bit distracted during mass sometimes, i just start daydreaming halfway through the gospel or the readings. i somehow manage to shake myself awake back into reality and probably catch the meaning of what they meant if i'm lucky. i can't really say what i think about cos my mind is a complete blank, and i just look at the ground or the bench in front of me and stone there for a few minutes.

i also realised that, being in front of the choir, you not only get flawless sound, that row being right in front of the altar as well, you get to see the entire process(is that the correct word?). you can really see what's going on. now comes my favourite part--when everyone sings the Lord's Prayer, the children all gather round the priest and they all hold hands, the choir does their usual wonderful singing, the clavinova hits the chords, the bass, midranges and treble all balanced, everyone all standing and singing. right in front of you, the smile on the face of the priest as he sings with all the children hand-in-hand, the choir to your right--this image still resides in my mind. it's just perfect. i've never felt so warm. it's such a pleasing moment i would have pulled my phone out and snapped a few images with just to capture that instant of gathering, but i have failed as 1. i can't bear to take my eyes off for just a second and 2. phones are obviously not allowed during mass, and it would take huge amounts of guts to actually use one right in the front row.

i'd say that i'm starting to warm up to my new second home, considering i only started going about a month ago. most importantly, i get to talk to God and listen to what He has for me. i will stick to this for the rest of my life, and i will go every week, no matter how sick i am. i always leave space for God. it's hardly any sacrifice knowing what i would reap.

praise the Lord!